I used to be a girl on the go, but when my dad died I sat my ass down….quickly. And three years later, I’m still sitting. I used to be fearless. I couldn’t understand why anyone had fears. I thought people were weird to fear the unknown. Now I spend time fearing my fears. My mindset has gotten pretty ridiculous once I realized that horrible stuff could happen in my life. It’s sort of like I expect something bad to happen instead of rolling with the good. I’m not the only one—I know. But I have to admit that I’m tired of myself.
I was sitting with my mom the other day and I was talking about a life change I’m going to make in a few months. I was saying how I’ve exhausted myself worrying about it. And she responded by saying that by now I should have learned that things always work out in life. And she’s right. You always heal and nothing that seems bad in the moment is ever as bad a little later on.
I wouldn’t say that I wasted the past three years. I always moved forward. But they somehow always seemed slowed down by fear. It’s right when people say that fear is the most paralyzing thing. I’ve come to the point where I have to just let go and leap into the unknown and let things happen with the realization that nothing is ever really that bad. And I’m not the only one.