Insanely Delusional

by Sylvia Ford-George

Insanely delusional relationship situations. I hope I never get involved in one. I mean, I’ve been in what I’ve considered an insane situation before, but delusionally insane…nah. And what woman would want to be? I mean ain’t plain ole crazy enough? Do we really need insane?

The guy whose fetish is sucking women’s toes (or wanting his toes sucked…ewww). The guy who’s “addicted” to making love with someone for the first time—his excuse for womanizing…and you’d think he wouldn’t get married, but he did…more than once! The guys who claim they’re Muslim just because they think it entitles them to have more than one wife. Or, (add your crazy situation here).


Recently I read an online story about a 45 year-old Swaziland King (he’s legit), with a personal fortune of around $200 million, who was positioning to wed his 14th or 15th wife, (reporters have lost count). The King introduced his fiancé at a celebration where somewhere around 20,000 young virgins from across the kingdom gathered and danced for him (an annual ritual). The fiancée, a recent high school grad and beauty pageant finalist, wore red feathers on her head as a sign of royalty. The wedding however, can only take place AFTER the fiancée becomes pregnant. Then and only then can she become the 14th wife.


Delusional to an insane 200 million degrees. And I didn’t even get to the part where 70% of the Kings 1.2 million subjects live below the poverty line (and that’s okay with him); or that his father had 125 wives; or that HIV and AIDS is a pandemic in Swaziland. People complain about our country, but the treatment of women here is so much better than it is globally. And it’s delusional to have sex these days without protection, especially in a country like Swazi. Yes, the “get pregnant and I’ll marry you” thing may sound like a good deal, but where would Maury Povich be if that actually happened here?


In an effort to mitigate the HIV and AIDS pandemic, the King used his power to invoke a time-honored chasity rite which encouraged all Swazi maidens under 18 years of age to abstain from sexual relations for five years. Two months after imposing the ban, the King violated the decree…and married again. He was fined a cow. Now that’s insanely delusional.