by Sylvia Ford-George
What does it take to have, withstand, and nurture a dream relationship? What characteristics does a significant other need to have in order for you to feel safe, loved, and fulfilled? Can you overcome jealousy, resentment, suspicion, distrust, and envy so that you can live sure and confidently in a relationship with another human being?
This being Dream week, I couldn’t help but think about what it takes to be the caliber of woman to share your husband and his dream with the world, (like Coretta Scott King, Betty Shabazz, Myrlie Evers, Grace Sullivan, Alma Powell, Michelle Obama, etc.) Relationships are complex enough when it’s just the two of you—and more so when you introduce children to the mix. Sharing your man in such a huge way moves the relationship into a whole new realm. It’s no place for the faint at heart. You have to have confidence, commitment and determination. You can’t be a wannabe, wimpy, whiny “wifey”. You have to be strong, secure, self-assured, and accomplished in your own right.
I’m sure living amidst threats, fear and the unknown helps to keep a relationship in its proper perspective. Helps you make the best of the time you have together. Helps you concentrate on the “us” and not the “me”. Helps you to be less selfish, and more selfless. And being selfless is a big part of what it takes to have a dream relationship.
I can’t imagine there would ever be a reality show called Civil Rights Wives, because the stuff these women are made of is as priceless as the support they’re providing their husbands and the life they’re giving their children. Fame and fortune does not drive them…their cause does. And I can’t see them selling out for a month or two on TV.
At the end of the day you’ve got to have grit, spirit, soul, fortitude and stamina to survive The Dream relationship, and we could learn a lot about what it takes from studying the lives of Civil Rights wives.